Ranger’s Tale of Woe

Greetings, my friends. Tis I. Ranger. Sans those ridiculous Yoda ears. The things one must endure around here for the amusement of the overlord my mother.

And yet — what may come as something of a surprise — that is not my tale of woe today.


This tale starts nigh on five years ago at dawn. I had strolled into the garden for my morning constitutional when suddenly I was attacked without warning by a monstrous beast! There was a searing pain that ripped down my back and I cried out (in a most manly way), terrifying the beast senseless and scaring it off into the early morning light.

Mom: Uh, buddy, you were just hiking your leg to pee and your back went out.

SILENCE, woman! Have I not had to endure enough from you in recent days?

Ahem. As I was saying, after my battle with the beast, I admit that I was in some pain for many days and weeks after, which forced me into convalescence. However, I eventually fully recovered and have not suffered any ill effects since.

Until now.

Last night, my old war injury flared up and once again, I am subjected to medications and bed rest. This, as you understand, is quite against my nature. I like to refer to myself as 17 inches of blue twisted steel due to my hearty constitution and rough-and-tumble attitude. But as I am not stupid, I will abide by my doctor’s orders so that I may, sooner rather than later, resume my duties as caretaker and guardian of our estate.

I do not tell you this to elicit sympathy or pity. However, your good wishes and salutations are most certainly appreciated at this low time.

As always, I bid you all “good day and good biscuits.”


  1. Oh poor Ranger. We will be sending all good thoughts your way and hope you recover from this ordeal quickly.

  2. You will be better soon, good sir. The same thing happened to me last week.

  3. Two French Bulldogs says:

    Oh no! We have all our feets crossed the war injury pain will go away for good
    Benny & Lily

  4. Ranger, I am most saddened to learn of the flare-up of your old battle injury. (I know your mother dismissed “The BEAST” out of hand, but I certainly shall not.) Please make sure that she is performing her caretaking duties properly. I will come by tonight to check on your progress and her performance.

    All my best,
    Auntie Gail

  5. Those back ouchies are no fun, for sure. Hope you’re feeling better soon, dude!

  6. Oh, that sounds miserable. I hope your back feels better real soon!

  7. Oh, Mr. Brudder Ranger, we are so sorry to hear about your back woes, and we will be thinking of you and praying that you get better soon, so you can go about your impawtant business!

  8. Frankie and Ernie says:

    OH NO…. not the BACK OWIE… from just PEEING. THAT is not a good thingy;. WE will have our paws tightly crossed fur you buddy.

    Hugs madi your BFFF

  10. POOR DEAR RANGER! We wish/Pray you a speedy and completer recovery! Back pain is NOT fun. Trust me I know. So when I say, I feel your pain, I really do. Get better and stay better soon! Ruby and “The Tribe” (which includes the humans)

  11. Paws crossed that your War Wound clears up VERY soon. A sore back is horrible.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  12. Dear Brudder Ranger:

    I am most distressed to hear of your recent injury. Please tell Miss Mayzie that I will be happy to help with nursing duties.


    Teka Toy

  13. Perhaps our sympathy should be reserved for those around you who must endure the cries of frustration of the terrier subdued. Stay quiet little friend. Channel your inner mastiff for a time.


  14. Oh Ranger! I have a pinched nerve in my neck that gets painful sometimes. I get to have acupunctures, butt my manyly crying out is quite un-nerving for the humans…hehehe.


    PPEEEEEEEEES: The acupunctures help ALOT!


  15. We’re sending you tons of AireZen, Brudder Ranger! We hope you feel better soon!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

  16. garthriley2007 says:

    So sorry to hear that Ranger. Restricted activity is the worst. Can you at least cuddle? But you.re not the cuddly type, are you? Hope you feel better soon buddy!


  17. I didn’t click “like” because I like that you are in pain, I clicked on “like” because of the hilarious way you wrote about it. Hoping you are feeling well soon! Barks and licks and love, Dakota

  18. Oh Ranger, we are so sorry. That doesn’t sound like fun at all. Hope you get all healed up quickly. Take care.

  19. Oh DUDE!!! I’m so sorry to hear abouts the flare up of your old war injury!! I’m with Auntie Gail ~ I don’t dismiss ‘The Beast’! I believes you, cause you are one tought SOB! I know that you tried to fight it off and it just slithered away like a little gurl!!
    Nows, I’m gonna be sendin’ ya tons of POTP, and lots of good healin’ vibes and AireZens!
    Put your paws up, and let your Moms treat you like the King of the Yardie that you are!!
    (oh, BTW, milk it for all it’s worth!! Moms are suckers for it!! BOL)
    Ruby ♥

  20. Poor Ranger! The Mr. was attacked by the back beast this week as well, so we know how you feel. Hope you feel better soon and get extra treats in the meantime.

  21. Brudder Ranger…You are handling this with a stiff upper lip, as I would expect from you. Bravo! Hope you feel better soon!

  22. Oh, Ranger! I’m sorry you are having to deal with this again. I will most certainly be sending you some doxie healing rayz! Say hi to Mayzie for me!

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