Greetings, friends. Tis I. Ranger.
And me! The Smudge-Man!
Ranger: Smudge and I are thrilled to be participating in Sarge’s Date Day.
Ranger: Now, I do believe it is well-known in Blogville that I am a confirmed bachelor. However, when it came to my attention that the fetching Miss Taffy was without a date for the day, I simply could not pass up the opportunity to escort such a lovely lady.
Smudge: And when I heard Miss Madi was looking for a date (or seven), I was all, “YOWZA! ME! ME! PICK ME!” And she was all, “Okay, you can be one of my dates.” So that was cool. But then I was all, “Crap! What if I mess everything up?” But then Ranger said (clears throat), “No worries, young man. Perhaps we could escort them together.” And then I was all, “Whew!” Cuz, gosh, she’s pretty, and she kinda makes me tingly and stuff.
Ranger: So we put our heads together and came up with what we believe will be a delightful evening for both these divine young ladies. Of course, no elegant evening would be complete without a limousine so we shall arrive to pick them up in this:
Smudge: And we want to make sure we make a good first impression so when we get there, we’ll give ‘em some flowers. I got Miss Madi a bouquet made out of catnip.
Ranger: And I thought this corsage would be the perfect compliment to Taffy’s golden locks.
Ranger: Did I mention that I made reservations for Chez Chat-et-Chien for 7 p.m? Of course, we shall have to arrive approximately 30 minutes early to sip Niptinis and Liverhattans. After that, the maitre d’ will show us to the finest table they have.
Smudge: And then right after we’re seated, this clown will show up!
Ranger: Now, Smudge, we talked about this…no clowns.
Smudge: But clowns are cool! And he could make balloon animals in the likeness of Taffy and Madi. And maybe squirt them with one of those fake flowers. They would LOVE that!
Ranger: No clowns.
Ranger: No clowns.
Smudge: How about a mime?
Ranger: This discussion is over.
Smudge: Fine. But Madi would totally love a clown.
Ranger: Anyway, as I was saying, we will enjoy a delicious meal topped off with an assortment of decadent desserts.
Smudge: And THAT’S when the clown shows up!
Ranger: Now, at this point, I believe we discussed that you would take Madi for a spin in the adjoining dance club.
Smudge: Yes! I really want to do this move. I’ve been studying the picture and I’m pretty sure I can pull it off.
Ranger: Of course, because of my old war injury flare-up, Taffy and I will be unable to join you. However, I have arranged for world-renown cellist Yo-Yo Ma to play for us at our table.
Smudge: I think she’d like a clown better.
Ranger: After that, we’ll have the limo driver take us to the Blogville Lake where we’ll finish the evening with champagne and a private fireworks show.
Smudge: Wait. I thought you didn’t like fireworks. Too loud or something.
Ranger: Smudge, this is Blogville. We have special silent fireworks in Blogville.
Smudge: Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Ranger: Oh, would you look at the time? We’d better start getting dressed, my boy! Our ladies await! (Hurries off.)
Smudge: Yeah, okay! I’ll be there in a minute! Hmmm..now what did I do with the number for that clown?